You, me, him, her, she, he, us, them, it.....
SO HERE WE ARE MINDING OUR OWN BUSINESSES IN LIFE...
In a job or career, slowly ploughing away year after year. Throw in a few niblets of "selfcare", some weekends of lazing around at home and the occasional vacation. The small comforts that we take pride in, beliving that we worked hard so that we can enjoy life.
Then BAM! We are rudely awakened when we see others, often people we interact with, rocketing ahead in life's rat race, savouring the fruits of their labours (or the surplus from a silver spoon). Whatever the case may be, we are made aware of our lives, of what we could have.
Or more accurately, we are suddenly conscious of what WE DON'T HAVE.
GREEN(ER) GRASS, LEMONS AND TEARS (OF SALT)
You know the old adage: life and lemons, silver lining and clouds, yada yada yada. Looking at the positives and making use of whatever we have on hand. Sounds simple no?
Truth is, we will always compare our present situaiton to those of others. We cannot help but peek over that figural fence and be jealous at what others have, thinking we drew the short straw. As an individual who had/has an inferior complex, I would often see how grandidose the lives of others were and be salty about the hand I have.
So what happens? I blame the system, I blame others, I blame everything else but never thought to look inward and think about WHAT I HAVE.
AGAINST THE WHOLE WORLD (OR SO I THOUGHT)
As someone who wants to be recognised for my art, it is never easy when I see just how far my peers have progressed, the environments they have.
Everytime I attended events and conventions, I hesitate to enter the artist valley because I would get salty about the seasoned artists with their tables full of art work. Walls of illustrations, and accessories with big crowds. Then, there's me:
(Image from left to right: Doujima Market, Xeph Artworks, Me)
I always felt that I was at a disadvantage because I started late. Because I had to prioritise working. Because I had no talent. Because of an unconducive environment. Because, because, because. The cycle never ended and I would say things like these:
"She can draw because she never had to sacrifice her time working"
"He can choose to draw because his family is rich and he can follow his passion"
"They have no problems at home so they can be happy"
"They own better equipment than I do"
"They have better lives, of course they will do better than me"
I saw COMPARATIVELY better circumstances, made assumptions and became salty thinking I had the right to bitch and moan. Not a healthy mix.
STOP COMPARING AND START DOING
Me owning a drawing tablet already puts me above those who cannot afford one. The fact I could attend art school was also an advantage for me. Yet I compared myself to people who have practised their whole lives, people who have put in the hours and effort. People who have failed more times than I have tried.
Could I blame aspects of my life on something or someone else? Yes, but only in extremely specific scenarios that are far and few. Now, here's not saying that comparison is bad, because we will never improve if we have no competition to work against, Rather, I have come to understand that I need to compare against WHO I WAS in the past because my scenario is unique to me alone. Just like how theirs is.
Of course, we can get caught up in looking at what others have and become so vain as to blame our so-called rotten luck on anything but our own folly. Curse our hand of cards and fold. We can do that, and be miserable.
Sure, they may be more successful or have privileged backgrounds, but what if we use that desire and 'salt' to drive ourselves instead? What if we used that vanity and excuse to practise instead? We won't always succeed, but I think we owe it to ourselves to try and make things better.